I thought we had something there. Like a poet whose verses found their way into my imagination, your words touched my thoughts. I created scenarios with you. I toyed with you in my mind. I wanted to toy with you in my hands, but not so fast. Easy does it. There’s no use rushing when tomorrow holds just much promise as today. Maybe more. Tomorrow holds the possibility of two hearts finding each other. This darkness tonight is too thick. Hands can find each other, lips can find each other, a breath can find a listening ear, but a heart can’t find a listening heart. Not tonight. Not like this, in the heavy darkness, warm with gravitational forces. No… not so fast.
If I give you tonight, what will I have for you tomorrow?
More of the same?
No room to expand?
No, not like this. Let me toy with you some more in my mind. Let my hands be idle. Let them wait. Tomorrow will come. When this night is over, there’s another one right behind it. It holds just as much possibility as this one… maybe more.
Would you take tonight?
Impose the limit on what tomorrow has to offer?
Admit that your heart isn’t looking for a kindred in the dark as long as your hands can find one?
That’s not my dark. My dark is rich with possibility. My hands can wait until my heart wraps around another and the brilliant heat of it ripples through me. For a moment, I thought it might be you. I really thought we had something there. I guess we didn’t. Make that I’m glad we didn’t because my heart doesn’t want to bump into another haphazardly and cling to it like they’re both afraid of the dark. No. My heart isn’t afraid. It only wants to reach out to another heart that’s reaching back. Let the electricity build so that when they make contact, it gives off a spark that illuminates the darkness.
But that spark isn’t here tonight. This dark is too thick for that. It holds no possibility for us. You and I are not ready to share a dark like this. This dark is mine and mine alone. You’ll have to find your own.
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